Wholistic Sexuality

What is “wholistic sexuality“? It is the belief, the conviction that we cannot divorce or separate our sexuality from everything we are, think, say and do. We are a “whole” person, and our sexuality is an integral part of the whole. So, before you start thinking that I have lost my mind or gone off the deep-end, sit back, relax and buckle up, because I am going to tell you things you may have never thought about before.

In the beginning…
If we really go back to the beginning, we must go back to creation, to Genesis chapters 1-3. In the beginning God… After God created all the rest of the universe, He set out to make His finest creation, mankind, in His own image, male and female. Then He told our first parents to “Be fruitful and multiply“. We are the products of that multiplication, so let’s go back to the beginning of YOU…

So, just how “male” or “female” are you? If I said “totally“, that wouldn’t really explain it. Every person who has lived or ever will live, with the exception of our first parents, began life as two microscopic cells which merged to become one. Your mother provided an egg, and your father provided a much smaller, but equally-important sperm. Neither cell is capable of making life on its own. They must have each other, or they both die. When that sperm penetrated that egg, your life began, not as a genderless blob, but fully gendered, with all the genetic information necessary to build your body. Each of those parent cells contained half of your DNA package. The “normal” human genetic package contains 46 chromosones, 23 from your mother, and 23 from your father. That sperm determined your basic gender, male or female. Every cell in your body that has ever been produced, and ever will be produced, is either male or female, and that includes your blood.

The two gender-determining chromosomes are X and Y. Natal females are genetically XX, and natal males are XY. All eggs contain an X chromosome, because females carry only X chromosomes. Sperm, on the other hand, carries either an X or a Y chromosome, because males have both. If a Y-coded sperm fertilizes the egg, the result is a boy. If an X-coded sperm fertilizes the egg, the result is a girl. This is a bare-bones basics of genetics, because I am neither a doctor nor a genetics-specialist.

When you were born, you weren’t just a “baby“. You weren’t born with the “potential” to “become” a boy or a girl, you were either a BOY or you were a GIRL. You were born “fully-equipped” for your male or female reproductive role, even if those parts were small and not fully-developed. Baby girls are born with all the eggs they can ever use in a lifetime, and their ovaries are already producing estrogen. Baby boys are born with the ability to achieve an erection, and their testicles are already producing testosterone.

I am a participant in the Human Genome Project, through the VA Million Veteran Program, and when I enrolled, they simply took a vial of blood, which will not only be used to look at my genetic-makeup, but also to see how genetics affects diseases progressions and treatment outcomes.

I am not going to delve into all the possibilities when a person inherits extra genes.

Physical gender…
Our genitals are the visible evidence of our basic genetic-makeup, not the determiners thereof. Hence, I have male sexual equipment, penis, testicles, etc, because I am genetically-male. I have also fathered four children.

Brain “wiring”…
Why do you think the way you do? Is it because you were raised as either a boy or as a girl? Nurture only explains part of why you think the way you do. A lot more of it has to do with how your brain is “wired“. Male and female brains are different, which is why men will never truly understand women. God didn’t design us to be alike. He designed the two genders to be complimentary, not identical.

Sometimes brain “wiring” gets mixed up, so that a male gets a “female” brain or a female gets a “male” brain. Those people feel like they are the opposite sex of what their genitals reveal, and some go on to get themselves “replumbed” into what they truly believe they are. I am NOT here to judge them, but I do accept trans-gender people as they are.

Men and women have different dominant hormones, testosterone for men, estrogen for women, and even though the amounts of these hormones which are circulating in our bodies seem miniscule, their affects are huge. My first wife was unable to take birth-control pills because the excess hormones caused her to have wild mood-swings, and even though millions of women have taken those same pills with good effects, her response was extreme. Men also have estrogen in very small amounts, but if there is too much estrogen in a man’s body, it had feminizing affects, including loss of libido and the appearance of “man-boobs“. Women also have testosterone in very small amounts, and if there is too much testosterone in a woman’s body, it has masculizing affects, including excess body-hair growth. If a woman has too little testosterone, her libido or sex-drive may be low or missing completely.

Body shape…
Have you ever wondered why eight-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, can look SO much alike that you can’t tell them apart unless they take their underwear off, and yet by the time they are sixteen years old, they look totally different? That, my friends, is the miracle of puberty. The classic male body-shape is a “V“, broad at the shoulders, and tapering down to narrow hips. The shoulders are the widest part of a man’s body, and the hips are the widest part of a woman’s body. The classic female body-shape is an hourglass, wider at the chest, narrow at the waist, and broader at the hips. Have you ever heard a woman being described as having “child-bearing hips“? During a normal vaginal delivery, the baby must pass through its mother’s pelvis, so female pelvises are quite a bit wider and shallower than the average male pelvis, which is deep, compact and heavy. Some women get cheated in the pelvis department, and their pelvis isn’t wide enough to accomodate normal vaginal delivery. I used to have a niece by marriage who was that way, and had to have all of her babies delivered surgically. It also didn’t help that her babies were over ten pounds. I have a wider-than-normal pelvis. Go figure…

Why are men generally taller than women? Could it be that men are built to a different set of “specs“, or even a different “blueprint” than women? We already know that men and women have a different “typical” body-shape, but how about their respective statures? Indeed, men and women ARE built to different “specs” with very different “blueprints“. Men are built on a 7 X 3 “platform“, and women are built on a 7 X 2 “platform“. The first number refers to the number of “head-heights” a person is tall, and the second number refers to the number of “head-widths” their shoulders are wide. A man is generally seven “head-heights” tall, and his shoulders are three “head-widths” wide. A woman is generally seven “head-heights” tall, and her shoulders are two “head-widths” wide. A woman’s head is also smaller than a man’s head which helps account for the difference in proportions.

For me, since I have a ten-inch-tall by six-inch-wide head, I am seventy-one inches tall, and my shoulders are eighteen inches wide.

Have you ever seen someone whose body-proportions seem to be all “off” for their apparent gender? I used to know someone who was a male-to-female transexual, and no matter how hard she tried, she didn’t have a feminine body because her proportions were all “off“.

Why do women have to work twice as hard to build half as much muscle as a man? Could genetics have anything to do with it? We know that some men are more “genetically-gifted” than others, but are male genes more conducive to having more muscle and being stronger? Besides have a different bone-structure, men have another advantage, and it is between their legs, their testicles. Testosterone, the dominant male hormone, is required in abundance to build strong muscles. That is why men with low testosterone levels have great difficulty losing weight and building muscle. I do not advocate taking anabolic steriods (testosterone) for the purpose of building big muscles, but testosterone-replacement therapy does have a place in helping men regain their “manliness“.

That is why Mr. America will never be a woman.

Have you ever wondered why “Papa sings bass and mama sings tenor”? Have you heard or seen the Vienna Boy’s Choir? Have you wondered where the girls are, because there sure are some high voices in that group? Welcome to the world of pre-pubertal boys. Puberty does a lot of things to a boy’s body, and one of those is causing his voice to start becoming lower, and lower, and lower… Some boys only make it down to tenor. There are some wonderful operatic tenors, and then there are the Five Irish Tenors. All I can say is WOW!!! Those guys have incredible voices.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is guys like me. The bottom just about dropped out as our voices were getting lower. I give the bottom octave on a piano a run for its money, and one choir director I sang under called me a “basso-profundo“. There has been a lot of bickering on some of the nudist blogs and forums about social nudity and sexuality because they don’t understand how completely our sexuality is interwoven with our humanity. No one could ever confuse me for a woman, even if all I did was say “Hello“… on the phone.

When I was in the hospital in 2007 after my eye-stroke, I was on the stroke-wing, just in case. Besides a list of tests as long as my arm, all stroke-patients were assessed by a physical-therapist and a speech-pathologist. I offered to take the physical-therapist on a tour of the facility (chuckle-chuckle). When the speech-pathologist came in, she quickly realized that I have a very deep voice, so she asked if my “stroke” had affected my voice. I told her, “No, I sing to the LOW-pipes” (chuckle-chuckle).

Have you ever heard a grown woman who sounded like a little girl? Most girl’s voices also change as they grow up, but not as dramatically as boy’s voices do. Those changes, and training, are what give us women who can sing everything from low-tenor to super-soprano.

The pitch of a person’s voice isn’t all that changes with puberty. The timbre, or tonal-quality of their voice changes also.

Why do most men have a lot of body hair and most women have very little? Why do some women have a lot of body hair and some men are almost hairless? The process of growing body hair usually begins when a youngster enters puberty, and is one of the signs of puberty. Puberty in girls is “staged” by their breast development and how much pubic hair they have. Puberty in boys is “staged” by how much pubic hair they have, and how large their penis and testicles are. It is also controlled by genetics. Generally the only body hair most women have is under their armspits and in their pubic area. Many men have hair from their face all the way to their toes.

How many bearded women have you met? How many bearded men do you know? Facial-hair is rare for women, but the ability to grow facial-hair is almost universal in men. The ability to grow facial-hair is a masculine trait.

How often do you see a naturally-bald-headed woman? How often do you see a bald-headed man? Natural baldness is very rare in women, but very common in men. Have you heard the term “male-pattern baldness“? Baldness in men tends to run in families, and may go for several generations. My dad was the only nearly-bald male in his family, and I inherited his father’s full head of hair. Mine is turning colors (gray) rather than turning loose. Grandpa’s hair was snow-white when he died.

Even our faces are different. Men look like “men“, and women look like “women“, and if you have an Adam’s Apple, you were born “male“.

Is you ring-finger noticeably longer than your index-finger? If so, you were probably born “male“. If your index-finger is longer than your ring-finger, you were probably born “female“.

How many women do you know with size-13 feet? How many men do you know with size-13 feet? I wear size-13 shoes, but I haven’t met any women who wear size-13 shoes… My dad wore size-14 shoes…

These are just a few of the ways in which our gender, our sexuality, are displayed in unmistakable ways. Our “sexuality” is NOTjust” our genitals and what we do with them, and the notion that a person can “turn-off” their sexuality in certain situations is patently-false. For the nudists who believe this notion, do your own research, because you aren’t going to take my word for it anyway. Just because a man doesn’t get an instant erection when he is nude in mixed company doesn’t make him any less a man. He may have good control over his erection responses, but if he gets overloaded with sexually-suggestive inputs, his penis may rise to the occasion anyway.

Forensics specialists can determine the birth-gender of a person by looking at the configuration of their bare skeleton, and determine their approximate age from the condition of their skeleton. We don’t simply “dress the part” or “act the part“. We ARE the part.

I am ready for another nakation!


The God of Sex…

Caution: This topic deals with human sexuality and our organs of reproduction, our genitals. Parents: If you allow your children to view this article, be prepared to answer their questions openly, honestly and truthfully. Children deserve and need the truth about their sexuality and what is between their legs. God created ALL of our parts.

What image does “The God of Sex” bring to mind? Perhaps some ancient Greek or Roman deity? Would you believe that “The God of Sex” is the God of the Bible, the creator and sustainer of all things? By now, you are probably thinking “Steve, have you lost your mind?“, but bear with me, because if God isn’t Lord of our sex-lives, He is not our Lord at all. If He didn’t create our sexual parts, He didn’t create us at all.

Far too many Christians have compartmentalized their lives to the point that they think that God is only “interested” in certain parts of their lives, such as worship and devotions, but He isn’t interested in the more “mundane” things like their occupation, or what they do in the bedroom – sex. This is an entirely-false way of looking at our lives, because God is interested in EVERYTHING, and PARTICULARLY in what we do in our bedroom. If you haven’t done so already, you may want to read “Secular…or Sacred?” and “Sex…Holy-Pursuit, or “Guilty-Pleasure?“, because this whole essay will make more sense with that material in mind. Another foundational study is “Image and Likeness“.


When I got married the first time, my only “sexual education” had come from men’s magazines. Yes, I knew what those parts looked like and where to put my penis, but I really knew very little about those marvelous “lady-parts” that my wife brought with her. My parents had essentially given me zero sexual education, so what I knew, I had gotten from all the wrong sources. Yes, we muddled our way through our first few times, but the learning-curve was very steep. Was I an “expert-lover“? Not by a long shot. I have read quite a few books since then on sex, written by Christian authors and other recognized experts, which I wish had been available thirty-six years ago when we said our “I Do’s“. I would have been a much better lover much earlier in our marriage.

With that in mind, I believe that Christians should be the “sex-perts“, because we serve an awesome God, and He, as our Creator, was the designer of our sexual parts and the author of our sexuality. Why should Christians muddle through sex when they can enjoy the very best God has created us for? Getting educated about our sexual equipment is only the beginning. There will be a list of resources at the end of this article.

God made us…

Imagine, if you will, what our humanity would be like if God had taken the easy way out, made us asexual and genderless, and simply created the variety of humans that fit His plans and goals. Would we all be “Barbies“, minus the breasts of course, or would we all be “Kens“, or a mixture of both? Barbie and Ken are genderless, distinguished only by body-shape and facial features. That certainly would have saved Him a LOT of trouble, because there would be no issues of sexuality, relationships and all the problems that go with those things. All humans would truly be equal, because all would come directly from the same source – God, but He didn’t, not that all humans aren’t equal otherwise.

Do you really think that our genitals, our sex organs, were an after-thought when God created Adam and Eve? Do you really believe that, after God created Adam and Eve, He realized that He had “forgotten” something – their ability to reproduce and their organs of reproduction? Au contrere! Our genitals, our sex organs, our organs of reproduction were an integral part of His original design. Our bodies, our genders, are uniquely suited for our respective roles in both creation and society. God, in His original plan, included mankind in His plan to populate His creation. HE made us male and female. God could have also created us to merely mate or breed, as the animals do, only showing sexual interest when the female is in “heat” and fertile, but He didn’t. We are created to be in relationship, not only with God, but with one-another also, and the most important human relationship is marriage. Imagine how boring a marriage would be if the only time the couple had sex was during those two or three days a month when she is fertile. If conception took place, there wouldn’t be any more sex until after the baby was born and she became fertile again. God didn’t create us that way, because He wanted our sexual relationship to be a vital part of our marriage. HE is the originator of our sexuality, so He IS “the God of sex“.

26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:26-28)

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. (Psalm 139:13-16)

The Song of Solomon…

Following hard on the heals of this beautiful description of God’s intimate knowledge of us and our bodies is the most erotic story in the Bible: The Song of Solomon. Why would God inspire Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, to write this intimate protrait of two lovers, complete with explicit descriptions of their bodies? Why would God choose to preserve this decidedly “racy” story and prompt its inclusion in the Canon of Scripture? Could we be missing the point? Is God trying to tell us something?

God formed our parts, including our genitals, and they are an integral part of our humanity. So also is our sexuality, which God commanded us to use for our good and His glory. If our body-parts and vivid descriptions of them and their use are “good enough” to include in the Bible, God must think pretty highly of us. That, my friends, is why I have no problem with sharing the graphic descriptions which follow.


I believe that we should use the appropriate terms to describe our sexual parts. There are a lot of slang terms for our parts, but they aren’t really honoring to God or our parts, so I will use the appropriate terminology throughout this treatise. I know that are some people who are even embarrassed by the proper terms, but if you are one of them, you have two choices: abandon ship, or get used to them.

Pubic hair…

No discussion of our genitals is complete without mentioning that, during puberty, pubic hair starts growing on and around our genitals. Pubic hair growth is one of the first signs of the onset of puberty. The following descriptions are assuming, but won’t describe, normal distribution of hair. Many men and women trim or shave off their pubic hair.


Would your body make sense if there were only women in the world? Of course the answer to that question has to be a resounding “NO“. A woman’s body doesn’t make sense without there being men in the world. Do you realize that the flower between your legs, your vulva, is the most exquisite flower in all of creation? Do you say “yuck” when you look at your flower? God created that flower, and it is capable of doing far more things than the most beautiful flower growing in nature. Let’s take a tour of your little flower:

Nestled at the top of your vulva is a little bud, a bundle of nerves called a clitoris. It is the most sensitive organ in your body, and its only purpose is sexual pleasure. God gave it to you expressly so that you can enjoy sex. Many women can’t even stand direct-stimulation of their clitoris, as it is far more sensitive than the head of a man’s penis.

On both sides of the inner parts of your flower are meaty folds of flesh called the labia majora, or major lips. While these parts are somewhat sensitive, they serve to surround and protect the inner parts from friction and damage. On a woman with small labia minora, or inner lips, the only thing that may be visible unless her legs are spread may be her labia majora.

As we progress inward towards the center of the vulva, the next obvious part is the labia minora, the inner or minor lips. These are very sensitive folds of flesh on each side of the center of the vulva, which start at the top of the vulva, joined to the hood of the clitoris, and wrap down and around the entrance to the vagina. Lacking direct stimulation to the clitoris, the labia minora give the most stimulation to the clitoris during sexual intercourse. Some women have little “petite” labia, and some are at the other end of the spectrum and have huge labia, but whatever you have, it is NORMAL. There is no such thing as “perfect” labia. Each of you ladies are unique, and that includes your lady-parts.

In the center of your vulva, and about halfway between your clitoris and the entrance to your vagina, is your pee-hole, or urethral meatus. That small hole would seen unremarkable if it weren’t for one small fact – that women have a set of glands, which are located along your urethra, are similar to a man’s prostate, and some women “squirt” or “ejaculate” during intercourse. While we are on this part of your anatomy, it is worth noting that your urethra, or pee-pipe, is quite short, which is why women get far more urinary tract infections than do men. That, combined with the close proximity to your anus, makes urinary tract infections (UTI’s) a greater problem for women. The most common bacteria found in UTI’s is E Coli, which is also in your digestive tract, so if you do get a UTI, make sure that it is completely cured, each and every time, because you do NOT want recurrent infections, with the likelihood of that infection spreading farther up your urinary tract.

Maybe you are wondering why I am giving this anatomy lesson, but it is for the benefit of the men also. Men need to know as much or more about YOUR sexual anatomy than you do, particularly if that man is your husband, and is responsible for YOU and your sexual pleasure, so bear with me. We aren’t done yet…

The centerpiece of your reproductive anatomy, and the “holy grail” for men, is your vagina. This canal, which is at the bottom of your vulva, is designed for both the comfortable entrance of a man’s penis, and to allow a baby to enter the world. Imagine a canal which is so versatile, and so stretchy, that unstretched, it is capable of gripping a finger, but it will stretch to six inches or larger in diameter during childbirth. What is even more amazing is that your vagina will return to close to its original diameter not long after the baby is born. Yes, it will become somewhat larger as you birth more babies, but guys, that doesn’t mean that sex isn’t fun anymore. A few more fun facts about your vagina: It is self-cleaning and self-lubricating. During intercourse, your vagina also grows longer and balloons out at the inner end, forming a “bowl” for semen, so that your cervix can be immersed in a pool of semen for insemination and conception. Your cervix forms the inner end of your vagina, and is the gateway to your uterus or womb. The small “doorway” through your cervix is the cervical os, and in childbirth, it opens up from about the size of the end of a pen to over four INCHES. Your uterus is the muscular organ which is designed to house and nurture a baby as it grows from just a few cells into the little bundle of joy you will birth. The other internal reproductive organs are your fallopian tubes and your ovaries. At birth, your ovaries are already equipped with all the eggs you will ever need and then some, so you can’t run out. Your fallopian tubes are the pathways between your ovaries and your uterus.

Your anus is the exit-end of your digestive tract. Some people enjoy anal stimulation during sex, and even anal intercourse, but I am not going to go into sexual technique. One note of caution: If it goes into your anus, whether it is a toy, a finger or a penis, it DOESN’T go into your vagina until it has been washed, because cross-contamination can result in a nasty vaginal infection.

Has your flower gone from “yuck” to “WOW” yet? God created you not only to be able to reproduce, but also to gain immense sexual pleasure from lovemaking. Yes, human sex is for pleasure also.


Would your body make sense if there were only men in the world? Do we REALLY need a penis in order to drain our bladders? Of course not. Women do just fine with just a pee-hole, but God wasn’t just thinking about our need to pee when He created our penis. Men’s sexual parts are just as amazing as what God gave women. Our is just different, and complimentary.

How well are you “hung“? Are you satisfied with the size of your penis? Do you wish that you were “hung like a horse“? There is one man who IS “hung like a horse“, but he wishes that he wasn’t. At nine inches soft or flaccid, and over thirteen inches hard or erect, and as thick as a wine bottle, women are scared to have sex with him. No woman’s vagina is both that long and that large in diameter. So, to put penis-size to rest – what is in your jeans was determined by what is in your genes. If you can get the job done and enjoy it, you have enough, and yes, you are NORMAL. A three-inch-long penis is long enough to inseminate a woman…

What about this amazing organ we call a “penis“? How does it do what it does? Would it surprise you to learn that approximately one-half of your penis is inside your body? There is a ligament which ties the base of your penis to your pelvis, and some “penis-enlargement” surgeries sever that ligament so that you can have more of your penis outside your body, however you will lose your ability to “steer” your penis. SO, let’s look at the anatomy of a penis:

From Encyclopedia Britannica:
Penis, the copulatory organ of the male of higher vertebrates that in mammals usually also provides the channel by which urine leaves the body. The corresponding structure in lower invertebrates is often called the cirrus.

The human penis is anatomically divided into two continuous areas—the body, or external portion, and the root. The root of the penis begins directly below the bulbourethral glands with a long cylindrical body of tissue known as the corpus spongiosum (or corpus cavernosum urethrae). This tissue extends through the body of the penis to the tip, where it expands into a mushroom-shaped structure called the glans penis. Running through the centre of the corpus spongiosum is the urethra, a common passage for semen and urine; the urethra ends in a slitlike opening at the tip of the glans penis. Beginning alongside of the bulbourethral glands are a pair of long cylindrical bodies called the corpora cavernosa penis. These continue through the body of the penis, occupying the sides and upper portion directly above the corpus spongiosum; they terminate immediately before the glans penis.

The corpora cavernosa consist of empty spaces divided by partitions of tissue. The tissue consists of muscle, collagen (a fibrous protein), and elastic fibre. The corpora cavernosa are termed erectile tissue (see erection), because during sexual excitation, their fibrous tissue is expanded by blood that flows into and fills their empty spaces. The blood is temporarily trapped in the penis by the constriction of blood vessels that would normally allow it to flow out. The penis becomes enlarged, hardened, and erect as a result of this increased blood pressure. The corpus spongiosum is also considered erectile tissue. This area, however, does not become as enlarged as the other two during erection, for it contains more fibrous tissue and less space; unlike the corpora cavernosa, the corpus spongiosum has a constant blood flow during erection.

The corpora cavernosa and corpus spongiosum are enclosed by a circular layer of elastic tissue. This in turn is covered by a thin layer of skin. The skin, which is slightly darker in color than the rest of the body, is loose and folded while the penis is in a flaccid state. At the beginning of the glans penis, a circular fold of skin, commonly called the foreskin (or prepuce), extends forward to cover the glans. At birth or during early childhood, the foreskin may be removed by an operation called circumcision.

Hanging below your penis is your scrotum, which is a temperature-sensitive, muscular sac containing your testicles. The reason that your testicles hang below your body is that they must be kept slightly-cooler than your body-temperature. There is a direct correlation between tight pants and low sperm-count and low testosterone. Speaking of sperm – your testicles create sperm, which is the male gamete. Sperm production in the testicles must be a high-volume process, because a healthy man is capable of ejaculating 300-500 million sperm per ejaculation. Just think about it for a moment… your testicles can produce enough sperm in just a few day to inseminate every woman in the world. Seminal vesicles are responsible for storing sperm and making part of the fluid which becomes ejaculate. They are also where sperm join semen before joining the prostate and ultimately the urethra. The testicles also produce testosterone, which is the male hormone which makes a man a man and turns boys into men.

Another major gland in the male reproductive system is the prostate. It is located at the bladder-end of the urethra, and the prostatic-urethra runs through it. The prostate is normally about the size of a large walnut, and produces approximately a third of the ejaculatory fluid in the semen. Other glands, including the seminal vesicles, produce the rest of the fluid. Normal semen is slightly alkaline to help counteract the acidic environment in a woman’s vagina.

Men also have an anus, and some men enjoy anal-stimulation. The most direct route for examining and stimulating the prostate is through the anus, because the prostate is located immediately in front of the rectum. The prostate exam is called a Digital Rectal Exam, or DRE for short.

Some problems…

I am NOT a doctor, but I have been married to women who have had some of the most common female problems, and I have experienced some of the most common male problems myself. I am just going to give a brief description of each problem, with, if I have experienced it personally, the most common treatment(s).


Urinary tract infections: I have already explained why women get more UTI’s than men, so I won’t go into that again. Symptoms of a UTI are: cloudy urine, burning-sensation with urination, and if bad enough, burning sensation all the time. If you suspect that you have a UTI, GO TO YOUR DOCTOR. The only treatment for a UTI is antibiotics. Guys, this one’s for you also.

Vaginal (yeast) infection: A woman’s vagina is always moist, and while it is normally self-cleaning, it is not unusual for a yeast (candida) overgrowth to occur. Candida is part of the normal “flora” of our bodies, but if it gets out of hand, it can make a mess in a hurry. The more you allow your vulva to “air out”, the lower the likelihood of developing a yeast infection. Treatment usually consists of a topical anti-fungal cream which is inserted into your vagina, and also applied to your vulva. Good feminine hygiene will go a long way to help prevent both UTI’s and yeast infections.


Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia(BPH: Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is an enlarged prostate gland. The prostate gland surrounds the urethra, the tube that carries urine from the bladder out of the body. As the prostate gets bigger, it may squeeze or partly block the urethra. This often causes problems with urinating.

BPH occurs in almost all men as they age. BPH is not cancer. An enlarged prostate can be a nuisance. But it is usually not a serious problem. About half of all men older than 75 have some symptoms.

Benign prostatic hyperplasia is also known as benign prostatic hypertrophy.

Benign prostatic hyperplasia is probably a normal part of the aging process in men, caused by changes in hormone balance and in cell growth.
BPH causes urinary problems such as:

Trouble getting a urine stream started and completely stopped (dribbling).

Often feeling like you need to urinate. This feeling may even wake you up at night.

A weak urine stream.

A sense that your bladder is not completely empty after you urinate.

In a small number of cases, BPH may cause the bladder to be blocked, making it impossible or extremely hard to urinate. This problem may cause backed-up urine (urinary retention), leading to bladder infections or stones, or kidney damage.

BPH does not cause prostate cancer and does not affect a man’s ability to father children. It does not cause erection problems.

Your doctor can diagnose BPH by asking questions about your symptoms and past health and by doing a physical exam. Tests may include a urine test (urinalysis) and a digital rectal exam, which lets your doctor feel the size of your prostate. In some cases, a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) test is done to help rule out prostate cancer. (Prostate cancer and BPH are not related, but they can cause some of the same symptoms.)

Your doctor may ask you how often you have symptoms of BPH, how severe they are, and how much they affect your life. If your symptoms are mild to moderate and do not bother you much, home treatment may be all that you need to help keep them under control. Your doctor may want to see you regularly to check on your symptoms and make sure other problems haven’t come up. (Web MD)

Why did I copy a whole section from Web MD on BPH? Because it is too common to ignore, and I want you to have the best information I could find. Reduced ability to urinate can also cause UTI’s, so guys, if you start having this problem, get it checked out. Yes, having a doctor stick his/her finger in your rectum may feel a bit strange, but it beats the alternatives.

PSA: The prostate specific antigen (PSA) test that is used to help detect prostate cancer or other prostate abnormalities. The jury is still out about whether the PSA test is really useful for diagnosing or ruling out prostate cancer. Where the PSA test really shines is in detecting prostatitis.

Prostatitis: Prostatitis is inflammation or infection in your prostate. While it is usually symptomless, that doesn’t mean that it is a non-problem. A couple of years ago, my primary-care doctor noticed that my PSA had risen dramatically, so he ordered another PSA test and referred me to my urologist. The second PSA test was even higher, so she diagnosed me with prostatitis. She also ordered a thirty-day round of Cipro to be mailed to me. After I finished the Cipro, I was supposed to have another PSA test two weeks later. By the time I had the final PSA test, my PSA had dropped like a rock, and has remained in the low-normal range ever since. Had my primary-care doctor not ordered that PSA test, my prostatitis would have gone unnoticed and undiagnosed. Having chronic urinary-retention, or being catheter-dependent, as I am, is a strong risk-factor for prostatitis.

Erectile dysfunction (ED): Does your penis seem more inclined to look down at your toes than point towards the ceiling? Are your erections more like a feeble-attempt at getting a real erection? If you are able to achieve enough of an erection to have sex, does your penis “droop” long before you both get real sexual-satisfaction? Unfortunately all those symptoms are the hallmarks of erectile dysfunction(ED), and while some “experts” would like for us to believe that having ED is a “natural part of the aging process“, there is more to it that just “getting old“. Because the arteries which feed your penis are very small, they start getting clogged-up even before the arteries which feed your heart. If you haven’t done so already, a good place to start in your understanding of these issues is “Reclaiming your Manhood“. You do NOT have to give up on having a fulfilling sex-life just because your penis doesn’t work quite as well as it used to. God also didn’t intend for our sex-lives to die on the vine after we turn 50 or 55.

ED Treatments: Who hasn’t heard of the “little blue pill” (Viagra)? Viagra is one of the oral medications which can help you feel like a man again, and Cialis and Levitra are the other two. Not all men are able to take one of the oral medications due to the side-effects and other risk-factors. I am not supposed to take any of the oral ED medications because I have had an eye-stroke. Never fear though, if you can’t take one of the oral medications, there are two other options. The first is MUSE, which is a tiny pellet of medication which you insert in your urethra, and if all goes well, it will induce an erection in just a few minutes. I tried MUSE, but it didn’t work for me. That leads us to the “court-of-last-resort“, which is EDEX. EDEX is a medication which you inject into your penis to achieve an erection. Yes, I know, even the thought of sticking a needle into your penis gives you the heebie-jeebies, but it works, and it isn’t as bad as it sounds. First of all, the needle is very small, and secondly, the amount of medication which you inject is very small. Do you want to wear both you and your wife out long before your erection finally subsides? EDEX will give you that kind of erection, lasting about two HOURS, on average. Yes, I have used it, and yes, those have been the best erections that I have had in the last many years. I wouldn’t want to use EDEX regularly, but once in a while to “remind” my penis what it is supposed to do naturally -BINGO! And that leads us to…


Who likes and wants a “quickie“? Of course a “quickie” is fine once in a while, when you don’t have the time for more leisurely sex, but would you really want a steady “diet” of “quickies“? If all God intended us to do when He said “Be fruitful and multiply” was simply conceive babies, He certainly could have made us that way, but He didn’t. Guys, even if you might like to be hung like a horse, you really wouldn’t want the sex-life of a horse. Once a mare indicates her readiness to be bred, a stallion is done with the job in under ninety seconds. Where is the enjoyment of it? God made horses to breed, not enjoy sex. He made humans to not only be able to conceive children, but also to enjoy having sex. We don’t just have sex for reproduction only…

Ladies, you don’t “need” your beautiful vulval-flower to simply reproduce, but instead, God gave all those super-sensitive parts of your vulva so that you can enjoy the experience. That is why God seems to have hard-wired your nipples to your vagina, so when your husband starts pleasuring your breasts, your vulva and vagina start getting aroused. Do you really think that God didn’t have your future sexual-pleasure in mind when He designed your body? Sure, and I have some real-estate for sale…


Masturbation is simply self-pleasuring, or sex-for-one. There are a lot of opinions and there is a lot of controversy about masturbation in the evangelical church, but for the naysayers, they have no solid Biblical basis to forbid it, but they do. Many men, and some women also, have been shamed into believing that masturbation is “wrong“, and when they do masturbate, they carry around a boatload of false guilt with them. Sorry folks, but God never put a “Thou shalt not masturbate” commandment in the Bible. In fact, the Bible, hence God, is totally mum on the topic of masturbation, and regardless of what you are told, Onan did NOT masturbate. He simply pulled his penis out of his sister-in-law right before he ejaculated so that he wouldn’t impregnate her. His only sin was that he refused to perform his duties to her by giving her a child, an heir. Her father-in-law, Judah, finally took care of business with her, even though he thought that she was a prostitute. The sister-in-law’s name was Tamar, and she was in the lineage of David, hence Jesus Christ.

Have you shut God out of your bedroom?

That may seem to be a strange question, but for those who don’t believe that God is interested in EVERYTHING we do, including having sex, thanking God for their sexuality is the last thing on their minds. Men, why does it take losing your ability to get a usable erection regularly before you start thanking God when everything DOES work right? The same goes for the ladies also, because normal sexual responses aren’t guaranteed, particularly as you get older. I remember those days when I could achieve an erection at the thought of sex, but not any more. I thank God every time I can achieve a usable erection, because I know that the next one is not guaranteed.

Have you shut God out of your bedroom because you have been led to believe that God might not “approve” of what you are doing sexually? There are still some churches which still teach that the “Missionary position” is the ONLY acceptable position to have sex in, that “doggystyle” is for animals-only. Since Adam and Eve didn’t have anyone else to teach them how to have sex, the only examples they had were the animals…

Is there really any GOOD reason to shut God out of your bedroom? Do you really think that God hasn’t “seen it all“? If you do, you obviously haven’t read much of your Bible, because the Old Testament is full of messy sex and even messier relationships. I have already mentioned Tamar, who pretended to be a prostitute, and was in the lineage of Jesus Christ. Rahab, who was a harlot, was also in the lineage of Jesus Christ. All the great men of faith were polygamous, and Solomon, the author of Proverbs and the Song of Solomon, had so many wives, concubines and other women in his household that he could have had sex with a different woman every day and it would have taken almost three years to have sex with each one of them ONCE. Oh, he was also in the lineage of Jesus Christ. When was the last time you heard THAT story in Sunday-school? You probably also haven’t been told that God, after King David (the man after God’s own heart) stole Bathsheba from her husband Uriah and had him murdered, told David that if he wanted more wives, all he would have had to do was ask… BTW, Jesus Christ is called “King David’s greater Son“… Do you STILL think that you need to shut God out of your bedroom?


Homosexuality and same-sex marriage are two huge hot-button issues in America, and particularly in the church. On one side of the issues are those who believe that two people, regardless of gender, should be able to get married and live together, without any fear of negative consequences, and with full legal recognition. On the other side of the issue are those who believe that 1) only hetero-sexual marriage meets the Biblical definition of “marriage“, and 2) God gave clear instructions forbidding homosexual sex and relationships. I don’t pretend to be an “expert” on homosexuality, and as a man, I can’t understand why a man would want to have sex with another man. Women seem to be more “appropriately-equipped” than men. SO, lets look at the passages from the Old Testament and let God speak for Himself. We will look at these passages in their context.

“Then the Lord spoke to Moses saying, “Speak to the children of Israel, and say to them: ‘I am the Lord your God. According to the doings of the land of Egypt, where you dwelt, you shall not do; and according to the doings of the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you, you shall not do; nor shall you walk in their ordinances.'” (Leviticus 18:1-3)

“You shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness while she is in her menstrual uncleanness. 20 And you shall not lie sexually with your neighbor’s wife and so make yourself unclean with her. 21 You shall not give any of your children to offer them to Molech, and so profane the name of your God: I am the Lord. 22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. 23 And you shall not lie with any animal and so make yourself unclean with it, neither shall any woman give herself to an animal to lie with it: it is perversion. Leviticus 18:19-23)

If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed perversion; their blood is upon them. 13 If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. 14 If a man takes a woman and her mother also, it is depravity; he and they shall be burned with fire, that there may be no depravity among you. 15 If a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death, and you shall kill the animal. 16 If a woman approaches any animal and lies with it, you shall kill the woman and the animal; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. (Leviticus 20:12-16)

The prohibition against homosexuality in Leviticus 18:22 is in the middle of a section dealing with the worship of false gods. The prohibition against homosexuality in Leviticus 20:13 is in the middle of a section dealing with incest. Women and children were the property of their husbands and fathers, boys until they reached manhood, and girls until they were sold to their future husband. Are these still general prohibitions against homosexuality? That is a question which I can’t really answer, because I don’t know the mind of God, so I will simply take them at face-value.

Would you be happy if you married the last person you had sex with?

Have you taken a potential spouse for a sexual “testdrive” before you married her or him? There is a lot of talk about “sexualcompatibility” these days, as if being “sexually-compatible” is a major determining-factor in who you marry. Unfortunately, short-term sexual-compatibility doesn’t guarantee long-term sexual-satisfaction, or the stability of a long-term relationship. I am not here to judge the merits, or lack thereof, of having sex before you get married. God is the only fully-qualified Judge, and last I checked, He still isn’t hiring subordinate-judges, regardless of what the church thinks. I believe that a far-better exercise would be for you to spend time together nude, not having sex, but just doing ordinary things together – minus your clothes. If one of you has a serious problem with that, how can you expect things to go smoothly when you have tied the knot, and it is time to consummate your relationship? “Marriage” is broken in America, and even among Christians, but that is the topic for another article.

Who is the enemy of our bodies? God created us in His own image. Satan has cajoled us into perverting God’s image.

Who celebrates when a baby is born? God said “Be fruitful and multiply“. God grieves when a mother exercises her “choice” and murders her unborn baby. Satan dances a jig.

God has a big grin on His face when a married couple has sex for the purpose of bringing new life into the world. Satan dances a jig when the husband can’t get an erection or the wife is infertile.

Final thoughts…

Do you still think that I have a few loose screws, or maybe that my elevator doesn’t quite reach the top floor? Or, have you come to the conclusion, as I have, that, far from being unimportant to God, our bodies AND our sexuality ARE important to God? God made us this way for a reason, and He is not only interested in us, He is the God of all we are, sex and all.


The Act of MarriageThe Beauty of Sexual Love      Tim & Beverly LaHaye

Sheet Music – Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage     Dr. Kevin Leman

A Celebration of Sex – A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy     Dr. Douglas Rosenau, Ed. D.

Private PartsA Doctor’s Guide To The Male Anatomy      Dr. Yosh Taguchi, M.D.

Out in the OpenThe Complete Male Pelvis     R. Louis Schultz