Refining Our Sexuality

These days, lots of people are busy redefining their sexuality. Whether it is their sexual orientation, or whether they are transgender, they want to redefine their sexuality based on their belief system. They want to be something they were not created to be. What I want us to do is REFINE our sexuality, to be more like we were intended to be.

What does it mean to refine something? In classical usage, refine is to remove the impurities, and get back to the pure material. As we go through this brief discourse, I want us to be about refining our sexuality into the purity our Creator intended from the beginning. We need to put off the dross and drivel that our society has put on us.

“26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28

In the beginning, God created us, male and female, in His image. Our ideal sexual state must be our guiding light for refining our sexuality. It is also the basis of our true sexuality.

We were created sexual beings. Our sexuality is inextricably linked to who we are as human beings. Our sexuality (true gender) is imprinted on every cell in our bodies. Thus, I am not a male just because I have male sexual equipment, but every cell in my body bears the genetic imprint of my maleness. I am not a male BECAUSE I have male equipment…I have male equipment BECAUSE I am a male. Yes ladies, the same holds true for you. You are not a female BECAUSE you have female equipment…you have female equipment BECAUSE you are female. It is all in our DNA, and our DNA (our sexuality) was determined at the moment of our conception. We aren’t born to BE sexual beings, we are BORN sexual beings.

By way of example…there is a man in the UK who has NO external genitals. If he were to choose his gender based on his genitals, or lack thereof, he could choose whatever he wanted, including gender-neutral. But while his body may appear gender-neutral, every cell in his body screams MALE. He is a man, although he has nothing to show for it. He was born that way, and it was as a result of a genetic anomaly. He is still a sexual being, although he has no way to express his sexuality through sexual activity. BTW, he is also a nudist.

SO, let’s fire up the refining pot, and throw in all the false ideas we have built up about our sexuality. What will emerge, shining like the sun, is our sexuality, as God created it to be.

Let’s start with our overall bodies, because society feeds us false ideals on a very regular basis. Gentlemen, start your engines! Be realistic… Does your body look like the male models you see in the media? Are you a Chippendale? Do you have six-pack abs? Are you a “pretty-boy“? I’ll bet the answer is NO on all counts. Are you skinny, or are you fat? Are you short or are you tall? Do you have a lot of hair, little hair, or no hair at all? DOES THAT MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A MAN? With that social sexuality dross, we are going to throw in the purifier of the truth, that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “IDEAL. You are no less of a man if your body doesn’t conform to society’s false “ideals“. We will get a bit more intimate shortly.

Ladies, start your engines! I believe Danica Patrick has done a marvelous job of retaining her feminity, even in the male-dominated world of NASCAR racing. Ladies, it’s your turn to throw your social sexuality baggage in the pot, because you are hammered daily with false “ideals” also. So ladies, are you a model, or even a super-model? Would you be considered for a photo-shoot with Playboy? How about for Sports Illustrated? Are you an actress? Do you have your own hair-stylist and makeup artist? Are you a sex-symbol? Do the people that take pictures of you routinely photoshop or airbrush-out your blemishes and imperfections? I’ll bet the answer is NO on all counts. Is your hair always perfectly done? Do you hate to leave the house without makeup? Are you skinny, or are you overweight, or maybe about average? Are you tall, or are you short? DOES THAT MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A WOMAN? Ladies, throw your social sexuality ideals into the pot, and we are going to throw in the purifier of the truth, that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “IDEAL! Ladies, you are no less of a woman, NO LESS FEMALE, because your body doesn’t conform to society’s false “ideals“.

I used to have frequent contact with a very lovely little lady. Ruth is all of 4′ 10” tall, with a very petite frame. She is a Registered Nurse, a mother and a believer, and she is all woman. I also worked with another tiny lady…Betty, who is also under 5′ tall, and is half Japanese. Another little lady who I used to know, who is also a believer, is a Captain with a large county fire department. She is one tough lady, but underneath her toughness is a true woman. Pam may make 5 feet tall…

SO, now we have refined away the dross of those social “ideals” from our sexuality, and you have discovered that your sexuality is purer, and getting closer to the true ideal, which is God’s ideal. Without getting into details, the “sexperts” have done men a great disservice by publishing the results of their “research“. Men, your endowment is determined more by your genetics than any other factor, and if you are comparing yourself to porn-actors, that isn’t a fair comparison. Male porn-actors are generally more well-endowed than “normal“. Mass media has likewise done women a great disservice but putting before us some artificial “ideals” of what a woman “should” look like. Recently I saw two pictures of the same model, one “as-photographed“, and the other was the results of their air-brushing and photo-shopping. Those two pictures almost looked like they were taken of different women. Even the models themselves often have trouble recognizing their own pictures after they have been altered. Mattel has also done a huge disservice to generations of girls who have grown up believing that “Barbie” is the “ideal woman“. One woman has spent tens of thousands of dollars on surgeries to “remodel” herself to look like Barbie. Ladies…yours is determined by genetics also.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-16)

Our bodies were created by God, and He called His creation “very good“, so contrary to the British website and TV show, Embarrassing Bodies, we need have no embarrassment about our bodies and their parts. I have a female urologist, but I am NOT embarrassed to be seen by her during the annual “well-man checkup“. I am also NOT embarrassed to talk to her about things like my erectile-dysfunction, something she believes should be treated to enhance my overall sense of well-being. We talk every time I see her about how well the ED medication is working and whether we need to adjust the dose. That is “wholistic” care.

Guys: God only created one Adam

Ladies: God only created one Eve.

Folks: The rest of us are copies of God’s originals, and I have no idea how many generations have passed since Adam and Eve walked this earth. Each of us IS a special creation, and our job is to accept how God created us, and fulfill our role in His world. Yes, that includes our sexuality also, because we can not divorce ourselves from it. It is an integral part of who we are.

As I previous mentioned, there is a man in England who was born with no visible genitals, but he is all male otherwise. There is also another variants that occurs occassionally, and that is someone who is born with both male and female genitals – a hermaphrodite. That anomoly is the result of one too many chromosomes getting transfered at conception. It is real, and has been medically-verified.

Trans-sexuals” believe that their “brain-wiring” is different than their physical sex. They believe that they are “wired” female in a male body, or “wired” male in a female body. Some go as far as to have “gender-reassignment” surgery, however, changing the visible “plumbing” doesn’t change their biological gender. Most Christians will assert that their “original-plumbing” is all that matters, however I am more compassionate towards them. The Fall brought changes to everything, including our bodies. Prior to the Fall, there would never have been any possibility of birth-defects, and yet we need not look very far to come in contact with someone who is affected by physical or mental birth-defects, and some are affected by both. Hence the possibility of a person being “wrongly-plumbed” for their “brain-wiring” is not out of the question.

Same-sex-attraction (homosexuality) is a life-choice. Contrary to what many would like us to believe, they are not “born that way“, although some may have experienced some event, or series of events, early in life which might have influenced their choices. One young man told me that he has known that he is attracted to other males since he was seven or eight years old. Any sexual activity at that age is wrong, and may have been sexual abuse. I have known both men and women who have been in hetero-sexual marriages before they decided they are homo-sexuals. One lady I used to know had a very abusive marriage to an absolute jerk, which was attested to by a mutual friend who has known them for many years. She was constantly put down by a man who considered himself “superior” to her, although she is an extremely intelligent and talented woman. Had he treated her right, they might still have a happy marriage. She has chosen to be in relationships with a woman instead. One man confided in me that he had been married, and he and his wife had children together, but even though he was in a homosexual relationship, he knew it was wrong, but wasn’t sure how to get out of it. It isn’t always easy to just walk away. They are not “gay” or “lesbian“. They are men and women who have chosen to be in same-sex relationships.

I need not “advertise” that I am a “straight” man, because I have been married four times and I am the father of four children. Only those whose sexual-preference is same-sex feel the need to “advertise” their preference. I don’t have a problem with either how I came equipped or my God-given gender-role. I can’t imagine myself any other way. How about you?



Wholistic Sexuality

What is “wholistic sexuality“? It is the belief, the conviction that we cannot divorce or separate our sexuality from everything we are, think, say and do. We are a “whole” person, and our sexuality is an integral part of the whole. So, before you start thinking that I have lost my mind or gone off the deep-end, sit back, relax and buckle up, because I am going to tell you things you may have never thought about before.

In the beginning…
If we really go back to the beginning, we must go back to creation, to Genesis chapters 1-3. In the beginning God… After God created all the rest of the universe, He set out to make His finest creation, mankind, in His own image, male and female. Then He told our first parents to “Be fruitful and multiply“. We are the products of that multiplication, so let’s go back to the beginning of YOU…

So, just how “male” or “female” are you? If I said “totally“, that wouldn’t really explain it. Every person who has lived or ever will live, with the exception of our first parents, began life as two microscopic cells which merged to become one. Your mother provided an egg, and your father provided a much smaller, but equally-important sperm. Neither cell is capable of making life on its own. They must have each other, or they both die. When that sperm penetrated that egg, your life began, not as a genderless blob, but fully gendered, with all the genetic information necessary to build your body. Each of those parent cells contained half of your DNA package. The “normal” human genetic package contains 46 chromosones, 23 from your mother, and 23 from your father. That sperm determined your basic gender, male or female. Every cell in your body that has ever been produced, and ever will be produced, is either male or female, and that includes your blood.

The two gender-determining chromosomes are X and Y. Natal females are genetically XX, and natal males are XY. All eggs contain an X chromosome, because females carry only X chromosomes. Sperm, on the other hand, carries either an X or a Y chromosome, because males have both. If a Y-coded sperm fertilizes the egg, the result is a boy. If an X-coded sperm fertilizes the egg, the result is a girl. This is a bare-bones basics of genetics, because I am neither a doctor nor a genetics-specialist.

When you were born, you weren’t just a “baby“. You weren’t born with the “potential” to “become” a boy or a girl, you were either a BOY or you were a GIRL. You were born “fully-equipped” for your male or female reproductive role, even if those parts were small and not fully-developed. Baby girls are born with all the eggs they can ever use in a lifetime, and their ovaries are already producing estrogen. Baby boys are born with the ability to achieve an erection, and their testicles are already producing testosterone.

I am a participant in the Human Genome Project, through the VA Million Veteran Program, and when I enrolled, they simply took a vial of blood, which will not only be used to look at my genetic-makeup, but also to see how genetics affects diseases progressions and treatment outcomes.

I am not going to delve into all the possibilities when a person inherits extra genes.

Physical gender…
Our genitals are the visible evidence of our basic genetic-makeup, not the determiners thereof. Hence, I have male sexual equipment, penis, testicles, etc, because I am genetically-male. I have also fathered four children.

Brain “wiring”…
Why do you think the way you do? Is it because you were raised as either a boy or as a girl? Nurture only explains part of why you think the way you do. A lot more of it has to do with how your brain is “wired“. Male and female brains are different, which is why men will never truly understand women. God didn’t design us to be alike. He designed the two genders to be complimentary, not identical.

Sometimes brain “wiring” gets mixed up, so that a male gets a “female” brain or a female gets a “male” brain. Those people feel like they are the opposite sex of what their genitals reveal, and some go on to get themselves “replumbed” into what they truly believe they are. I am NOT here to judge them, but I do accept trans-gender people as they are.

Men and women have different dominant hormones, testosterone for men, estrogen for women, and even though the amounts of these hormones which are circulating in our bodies seem miniscule, their affects are huge. My first wife was unable to take birth-control pills because the excess hormones caused her to have wild mood-swings, and even though millions of women have taken those same pills with good effects, her response was extreme. Men also have estrogen in very small amounts, but if there is too much estrogen in a man’s body, it had feminizing affects, including loss of libido and the appearance of “man-boobs“. Women also have testosterone in very small amounts, and if there is too much testosterone in a woman’s body, it has masculizing affects, including excess body-hair growth. If a woman has too little testosterone, her libido or sex-drive may be low or missing completely.

Body shape…
Have you ever wondered why eight-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, can look SO much alike that you can’t tell them apart unless they take their underwear off, and yet by the time they are sixteen years old, they look totally different? That, my friends, is the miracle of puberty. The classic male body-shape is a “V“, broad at the shoulders, and tapering down to narrow hips. The shoulders are the widest part of a man’s body, and the hips are the widest part of a woman’s body. The classic female body-shape is an hourglass, wider at the chest, narrow at the waist, and broader at the hips. Have you ever heard a woman being described as having “child-bearing hips“? During a normal vaginal delivery, the baby must pass through its mother’s pelvis, so female pelvises are quite a bit wider and shallower than the average male pelvis, which is deep, compact and heavy. Some women get cheated in the pelvis department, and their pelvis isn’t wide enough to accomodate normal vaginal delivery. I used to have a niece by marriage who was that way, and had to have all of her babies delivered surgically. It also didn’t help that her babies were over ten pounds. I have a wider-than-normal pelvis. Go figure…

Why are men generally taller than women? Could it be that men are built to a different set of “specs“, or even a different “blueprint” than women? We already know that men and women have a different “typical” body-shape, but how about their respective statures? Indeed, men and women ARE built to different “specs” with very different “blueprints“. Men are built on a 7 X 3 “platform“, and women are built on a 7 X 2 “platform“. The first number refers to the number of “head-heights” a person is tall, and the second number refers to the number of “head-widths” their shoulders are wide. A man is generally seven “head-heights” tall, and his shoulders are three “head-widths” wide. A woman is generally seven “head-heights” tall, and her shoulders are two “head-widths” wide. A woman’s head is also smaller than a man’s head which helps account for the difference in proportions.

For me, since I have a ten-inch-tall by six-inch-wide head, I am seventy-one inches tall, and my shoulders are eighteen inches wide.

Have you ever seen someone whose body-proportions seem to be all “off” for their apparent gender? I used to know someone who was a male-to-female transexual, and no matter how hard she tried, she didn’t have a feminine body because her proportions were all “off“.

Why do women have to work twice as hard to build half as much muscle as a man? Could genetics have anything to do with it? We know that some men are more “genetically-gifted” than others, but are male genes more conducive to having more muscle and being stronger? Besides have a different bone-structure, men have another advantage, and it is between their legs, their testicles. Testosterone, the dominant male hormone, is required in abundance to build strong muscles. That is why men with low testosterone levels have great difficulty losing weight and building muscle. I do not advocate taking anabolic steriods (testosterone) for the purpose of building big muscles, but testosterone-replacement therapy does have a place in helping men regain their “manliness“.

That is why Mr. America will never be a woman.

Have you ever wondered why “Papa sings bass and mama sings tenor”? Have you heard or seen the Vienna Boy’s Choir? Have you wondered where the girls are, because there sure are some high voices in that group? Welcome to the world of pre-pubertal boys. Puberty does a lot of things to a boy’s body, and one of those is causing his voice to start becoming lower, and lower, and lower… Some boys only make it down to tenor. There are some wonderful operatic tenors, and then there are the Five Irish Tenors. All I can say is WOW!!! Those guys have incredible voices.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is guys like me. The bottom just about dropped out as our voices were getting lower. I give the bottom octave on a piano a run for its money, and one choir director I sang under called me a “basso-profundo“. There has been a lot of bickering on some of the nudist blogs and forums about social nudity and sexuality because they don’t understand how completely our sexuality is interwoven with our humanity. No one could ever confuse me for a woman, even if all I did was say “Hello“… on the phone.

When I was in the hospital in 2007 after my eye-stroke, I was on the stroke-wing, just in case. Besides a list of tests as long as my arm, all stroke-patients were assessed by a physical-therapist and a speech-pathologist. I offered to take the physical-therapist on a tour of the facility (chuckle-chuckle). When the speech-pathologist came in, she quickly realized that I have a very deep voice, so she asked if my “stroke” had affected my voice. I told her, “No, I sing to the LOW-pipes” (chuckle-chuckle).

Have you ever heard a grown woman who sounded like a little girl? Most girl’s voices also change as they grow up, but not as dramatically as boy’s voices do. Those changes, and training, are what give us women who can sing everything from low-tenor to super-soprano.

The pitch of a person’s voice isn’t all that changes with puberty. The timbre, or tonal-quality of their voice changes also.

Why do most men have a lot of body hair and most women have very little? Why do some women have a lot of body hair and some men are almost hairless? The process of growing body hair usually begins when a youngster enters puberty, and is one of the signs of puberty. Puberty in girls is “staged” by their breast development and how much pubic hair they have. Puberty in boys is “staged” by how much pubic hair they have, and how large their penis and testicles are. It is also controlled by genetics. Generally the only body hair most women have is under their armspits and in their pubic area. Many men have hair from their face all the way to their toes.

How many bearded women have you met? How many bearded men do you know? Facial-hair is rare for women, but the ability to grow facial-hair is almost universal in men. The ability to grow facial-hair is a masculine trait.

How often do you see a naturally-bald-headed woman? How often do you see a bald-headed man? Natural baldness is very rare in women, but very common in men. Have you heard the term “male-pattern baldness“? Baldness in men tends to run in families, and may go for several generations. My dad was the only nearly-bald male in his family, and I inherited his father’s full head of hair. Mine is turning colors (gray) rather than turning loose. Grandpa’s hair was snow-white when he died.

Even our faces are different. Men look like “men“, and women look like “women“, and if you have an Adam’s Apple, you were born “male“.

Is you ring-finger noticeably longer than your index-finger? If so, you were probably born “male“. If your index-finger is longer than your ring-finger, you were probably born “female“.

How many women do you know with size-13 feet? How many men do you know with size-13 feet? I wear size-13 shoes, but I haven’t met any women who wear size-13 shoes… My dad wore size-14 shoes…

These are just a few of the ways in which our gender, our sexuality, are displayed in unmistakable ways. Our “sexuality” is NOTjust” our genitals and what we do with them, and the notion that a person can “turn-off” their sexuality in certain situations is patently-false. For the nudists who believe this notion, do your own research, because you aren’t going to take my word for it anyway. Just because a man doesn’t get an instant erection when he is nude in mixed company doesn’t make him any less a man. He may have good control over his erection responses, but if he gets overloaded with sexually-suggestive inputs, his penis may rise to the occasion anyway.

Forensics specialists can determine the birth-gender of a person by looking at the configuration of their bare skeleton, and determine their approximate age from the condition of their skeleton. We don’t simply “dress the part” or “act the part“. We ARE the part.

I am ready for another nakation!

Lost Sheep

Have you ever been lost, and I mean REALLY lost? Have you ever known where you were but didn’t know where you were going? That would seem to be almost impossible with all the technology we have at our fingertips, but it can still happen, because in spite of having the best technology, if that technology is lost, you are lost.

Sheep don’t carry GPS units, and they DON’T know their way home, that is, unless their shepherd is there to lead and guide them. We can be much the same way if we lose our bearings.

A few years ago, I went to see my brother and his wife. I had been there before and I thought I knew my way around, but I didn’t. I even entered their address in my GPS, but it was stumped too, because whoever laid out the roads in their mountainside community must have been drunk. The roads ran every which way, and streets started and stopped, and then restarted somewhere else. After driving around for a bit, I stopped, and called my brother, my shepherd, the person who was most familiar with the area. It took him all of five minutes to find me, and I was less than half a mile from their home. He led me home. I had been a lost “sheep” in need of a shepherd.

A few months ago, I got a late-night call from another lost “sheep“. My friend and neighbor had gone out partying with some of her friends. Yes, there was alcohol involved, but she also took a pain-pill. Alcohol and pain-pills can have strange effects on some people. BTW, she was less than four miles from home the whole time. The combination of the alcohol and the medication both fogged her mind and blurred her vision. As she was leaving the party, she took a wrong turn, and suddenly everything was unfamiliar. Thankfully she had my number in her speed-dial. As she drove, she started naming off landmarks that were familiar to me, so I had her pull off of the road in a safe place. It only took me a few minutes to find her, and then I led her home. She was a lost “sheep” and she knew to call a shepherd, someone who could lead her home.

The lost sheep…
15 Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

3 So he told them this parable: 4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ 7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. (Luke 15:1-7)

Jesus had attracted a crowd, again, and it was a crowd of the “wrong-sort” of people, sinners. The Pharisees liked nothing better than to strut around like Banty-roosters with their noses in the air, all the better to look down their noses at those sorry “sinners“, and to complain to and about Jesus. Jesus, as he often did, told a parable.

Imagine with me, if you will, that not only was this poor sheep very lost, but he was also the only BLACK sheep among a herd of all-white sheep. That lends even more weight to “Who’s your daddy?“. He didn’t fit in. He was a misfit. When you looked at the herd, he stood out like a sore-thumb. No, this is NOT a story or commentary about race. Sheep are sheep, and people are people.

I am very much the “black sheep” in my church. I am a misfit. I have had a rough life, and I am more than a bit rough around the edges. I also hang out with the “wrong” crowd, people who Jesus would have welcomed with open arms. They are the people whom God has called me to minister to. Ministry in the ditches isn’t always pretty, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. If I don’t love them, who will?

Digressing for a moment… One of my blogger-friends recently had a gall-bladder attack and ultimately had to have her gall-bladder removed. She is a male-to-female trans-sexual. Some of my conservative Christian friends might say “It served HIM right” and ask “Did HE register in the hospital under HIS real name?“. It is not for me or them to judge her, but I do have a responsibility to love her. She is doing well. Thank you Lord! She is a “lost sheep” and it is my responsibility to point her to the Good Shepherd.

The Good Shepherd…
11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. (John 10:11)

My brother was the right shepherd when I needed him, and I was the right shepherd when my friend needed me, but neither of us is the Good Shepherd. Jesus is the Good Shepherd, and we are merely deputy-shepherds. It is our job to point lost sheep to the Good Shepherd, to Jesus, because HE is the only one who can really take them Home.

How about you?
Do you have a Shepherd? Do you need a Shepherd? If Jesus isn’t your Shepherd, He would love to become your Shepherd. He is still in the business of finding and rescuing lost sheep, so if you are lost and in need of a Shepherd, call upon Him. He is never too busy for you.

In Christ,