Forward: Please note that this article deals with mature topics, including human sex and sexuality, therefore parental discretion is advised. I do not, however, advocate shielding children from these topics, because I believe that, second only to leading your children to Christ, the greatest disservice most parents do to their children is not properly preparing them for adulthood. I will be posting a “Talk for Parents” shortly, dealing with these issues as a parent.
Have you noticed that manhood is under constant attack? Are you always the “odd man out“? Have you ever been told “You aren’t welcome here“? Why has being a man gone from being revered to being reviled? Have you ever felt like even your “manhood” is under attack? Have you ever wondered why women “oooh” and “aaah” and swoon over some Hollywood movie hunk, and then look at you in disgust? If you have, you are not alone, and in fact, are in rather good company. Being a man is tough work.
It isn’t just our psyches that are under attack, our virility, our manhood is also under attack. Many men have been reduced to grown-up little boys, as they have seen their sex-life fade into a mere memory. There are many reasons for this change, and most of them aren’t pretty.
The topics here are some of the most pressing issues men face in this 21st century Western world. While this list is certainly not exhaustive, and I am no expert, my observations are based on my experiences as a 58 year-old man, and my own research into these issues.
Our sex lives…
Can you still remember when you woke up every morning and your penis was always pointed at the sky? Do you remember the last time you woke up with sticky stuff on your belly? No…me neither. The problem is that those events are NORMAL. A normal, healthy man should have three to five nocturnal erections every night, and wake up with a morning “woodie” nearly every morning. Those were the “good old days“, and if you do wake up with an erection, by the time you get awake enough to notice it, it is already history. Do you remember the days when just the sight of a cute bottom in tight pants or a skirt sent Mr. Happy skyward in your pants? Do you remember the days when you could get an erection on a whim, and even if you ejaculated too soon the first time, you were rip-roaring and ready to go within an hour, and the second time, you lasted forever? Do you consider yourself “lucky” to get a half-hearted erection once a week, if that often? Maybe your sex-life is now a distant memory? Join the club. There are lots of reasons for the decline in our virility, but none of them have anything to do with “normal aging“.
Men are having funerals for their penis and their sex-life at younger and younger ages, but this trend is NOT normal. Consider Abraham: In Genesis 17, God promised him a son, to be born to him and his wife, Sarah. Abraham was 99 years old. Not too many years before that, Abraham had fathered a son by Hagar. Yes, Abraham was still sexually-active when most men are dead, or they have had that funeral for their penis many years before. Consider the parents of Samuel: Elkanah and Hannah were both elderly, but God promised them a son. Hannah didn’t use a turkey-baster to get pregnant. “Then they arose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord, and returned again to their house in Ramah. And Elkanah had relations with Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. 20 It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked him of the Lord.” (1 Samuel 1:19-20) Or, consider John the Baptist: His parents, Zacharias and Elizabeth, were likewise elderly, but after his father completed his tour-of-duty as a priest and they got back home, the windows got steamy, the bed creaked, and nine monts later, John was born.(Luke 1:5-24, 57-66) How about the men in Japan who are still supporting their condom industry well into their 80’s?
God created us to be able to have and enjoy sex throughout our lifetime. He was the creator of our sexual equipment, and the architect of marriage. In Genesis 2:24-25, we read: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” The permanence of the marriage relationship is spoken of in Proverbs 5:18-19, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Solomon bracketed this beautiful passage with stern warnings against adultry. “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing waters from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, stream of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you.” (Proverbs 5:15-17)
Men only have one “fountain“, and yes, it refers to our penis. “Springs” and “streams of water” refers to our semen, which are to be only for our own wife. Solomon was enjoining the couple to enjoy each other sexually thorughout their lifetime. Becoming “one flesh” can only refer to sexual union, which is the most intimate part of the marriage relationship. Something has happened, and is happening to our virility, and it is NOT good. If you have a fabulous sex-life, you are very blessed. Enjoy what you have for as long as it lasts.
Killing us softly…
Poison in the pantry…
Men, have your boobs gotten bigger as your ability to get an erection has been reduced? Has your waistline grown as your penis and balls got smaller? If these things are true of you, one of the biggest problems you are facing may be in your pantry.
Several years ago, the soybean industry was miniscule. Then they started convincing the food-processing industry to start using soy products in more and more of our foods. Soy products were cheaper than the other products they were using, so they made the switch. Soybean oil started replacing the better, but more expensive vegetable oils they had been using. Then the food industry discovered “textured vegetable protein”. If you browse the grocery store aisles now, it will be difficult to find over a handful of products which DON’T contain some form of soybean product. One quick, and laughable example:
Peanut butter is a mixture of ground, roasted peanuts, salt, sugar, and some form of oil. Peanuts contain an oil – peanut oil, which would seem to be the best oil to use in peanut butter, but no… Many peanut butter products contain not peanut oil, but SOYBEAN oil. All that good peanut oil is packaged and sold to restaurants to deep-fat fry their foods. Some of it makes its way to store shelves around Thanksgiving for those rednecks who like to deep-fry their turkeys. Isn’t there enough peanut oil to go around, so that some of it can be used to make peanut butter? Try finding peanut butter which actually contains peanut oil. Maybe at a health food store, for an exorbitant price.
What is wrong with all these soy products? Nothing, if you like big man-boobs and a small, limp penis. The problem with soybeans is that they contain a natural, plant ESTROGEN. Yes, soybeans contain FEMALE HORMONES. Nearly all the products marketed to women as being natural estrogen replacements to help with hot-flashes and menopause are soybean based. Yes guys, we do have a very small, natural and normal amount of estrogen in our systems. God designed us that way, but we aren’t supposed to have as much estrogen as a woman. TESTOSTERONE is the male hormone, not estrogen. Estrogen makes men’s boobs grow and their penis shrink. Estrogen is what male-to-female transexuals take, along with testosterone antagonists, to make them look for feminine and less masculine. If you want to be a man, you want testosterone coursing through your veins, not estrogen.
Drugs, drugs, and more drugs…
Have you noticed that there seems to be a drug for everything? No, no one drug does it all, so there is a DIFFERENT drug for each thing that may be “wrong” with you. The pharmaceutical industry is developing new drugs every day, and they love to tout what each new drug can do for YOU. Now, based on the “information” in a TV commercial, you are supposed to “self–diagnose” and ask your doctor “Is drug X right for me?” After their slick-talking salesman tells you all the great things this new drug can do for you, and then all the fine print – all the dangerous side-effects, some of which may kill you. Unfortunately they aren’t even honest about all the side-effects. Perhaps the better question to ask your doctor would be, “If YOU had this condition, would YOU take this drug?”
Drugs are big business, HUGE business, and the pharmaceutical industry can only continue to make their huge profits if they keep developing new drugs, and can keep us buying and taking them. Case in point:
A few years ago, I started having trouble peeing, and my problem got worse with time. The research I did indicated that I might have BPH (enlarged prostate), because trouble peeing was one of the symptoms of BPH. I found out through an email campaign, that there was a clinical trial of an investigational medication being done at a nearby urologist’s clinic. I was familiar with the urologist, so I made an appointment to enroll. After passing all the required tests with flying colors, I was enrolled in the trial. Each “treatment” involved getting two shots in the butt, and “treatments” were to be six months apart. Drop your pants…
I also received a packet of information about the medication, which was supposed to detail all the anticipated or expected side-effects. Nowhere in that packet did they mention sexual side-effects. Nowhere, but why did I have to fill out a “Sexual Satisfaction” questionaire every time I went in for an appointment? Over the course of the first several weeks, my sexual satisfaction went from “doing just fine” to “what is sex?”. They never included a test for testosterone levels in their routine bloodwork. I wonder why? After the clinical trial was complete, the report the company submitted to the FDA said that there were “minimal sexual side-effects“. Liars, LIARS!
I vividly remember that fateful night when my wife was interested in a bit of loving, and I had to tell her “I can’t get it up“. If she had cut off my shriveled-up little penis and fed it to me, it would not have been any bigger insult to my manhood than having to tell her I couldn’t get an erection. Two years after I discontinued my participation in the trial because it wasn’t doing me any good, my testosterone level was only 220 – a third of what it should be. Those liars stole five years of my sex-life, and it took testosterone-replacement therapy to start getting it back. I will never get back everything I lost…
Doctors – Friends or Foes?
Let’s face it, doctors aren’t always our best friends. They feed us pills which destroy our manhood, and then give us more pills to help restore some semblance of “normalcy”. The list of medications which have sexual side-effects is as long as my arm, and there are a few medications to help us out, but they aren’t good for us. We are being poisoned… If your sex-life died along with your penis after you started taking that latest medication, either it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, or its sexual side-effects are far worse than the manufacturer would ever admit. A lot of doctors are also in bed with the pharmaceutical industry…
Once again, the pharmaceutical industry comes as a “Knight in shining armor” to our “rescue“…sort of. Enter the “little blue pill” – Viagra and its ilk. It is supposed to help us feel “normal“, “like a man” again, but in reality, it is a band-aid for the real problem. When Viagra or Cialis and those types of medications no longer work, there is EDEX, which is an injectable medication. Yes, it gets injected “there” – in your penis. I have tried it, and it does work, but I sure would much rather Mr. Happy would “rise to the occasion” on his own. Too much, and it will produce a painful erection which you will never forget. Can you say “Priapism”? It would be sad if even those things would quit working, and your last resort becomes having a penile prosthesis surgically installed in your penis. That option was offered to me a few years ago. Thanks, but no thanks.
Men are under a horrendous amount of stress. There is never enough money, or time to make enough money. They are stretched thin with all the responsibilities which they have either taken on, or have had dumped on them. Is it any wonder that they come home from work worn to a frazzle and hardly have the energy to get past the easy chair? As their stress goes up, so does their blood-pressure. As their blood-pressure goes up, so does the number of pills they take to control their blood pressure. As the number of pills goes up, the greater the number of sexual side-effects they experience. Reduce your stress, and your sex-life will thank you. By the way, sex is a WONDERFUL stress-reliever…
Smoking may have been “sexy” 50 years ago, but we now know how hard it is on our bodies. If you are a smoker, and can quit, please do so. Your general health AND your penis will thank you for it. You may even discover that you no longer need a little help from that “little blue pill” to get an erection. There may yet be a “fountain of youth“…
Are you essentially shooting blanks, even though you haven’t had a vasectomy? Maybe you and your wife have gone to a fertility clinic to find out why she can’t get pregnant, and you find out that your sperm-count is so low that you might as well be shooting blanks? How much space is there in your pants for your equipment? Too many men are wearing pants so tight in the crotch that their balls are frying in their pants. Just because some pop-star wears his pants that tight doesn’t mean that you should. Your testicles are designed to hang down, so that they stay a couple of degrees cooler than the rest of your body. Ditch the fashion and the tight pants, and go for something which lets your family jewels hang like they are supposed to. Your sperm count and your wife will thank you.
“Killing us softly” IS real. Your penis is a very accurate barometer of your overall health. When your penis doesn’t work properly, there is something seriously awry with your system.
Have you been emasculated enough yet? If not, stay with me.
I came across an article in Huffington Post, written by Nina Bahadur, entitled “If ‘Real Men’ Posed In Underwear Ads“. She noted that a couple of lines of female clothing have started using un-retouched “real women” in their ads, which is a step in the right direction. Then she asked “But what would ads featuring “normal men” look like?”
One journal – The Sun, asked real men to pose for men’s underwear ads, wearing name brands, and in identical poses as the professional models used by that brand. That project has gotten a lot of global publicity. Her next paragraph is profound…
“These mock ads show how men are also held to the near-impossible body standards of models and professional sports players, and inundated with images of far-from-average male bodies on a daily basis. Studies have shown that idealized images affect men and boys, and may be linked to male eating disorders.”
Digest that last paragraph guys. The ad media is only one small corner or the larger media package where we are under attack. More about the media shorty…
Are you a Chippendale? I sure don’t “qualify“.
Movies and television…
Have you ever seen an ugly guy in a movie or on TV? If you have, he most likely WASN’T the star of the show. That part was reserved for some guy the ladies in the audience can swoon over. Why? So that they would keep watching the show and going to the movies… Sex sells, whether it is a “sexy lady” or a “sexy man“. Sex sells, and “ugly” isn’t sexy. Whether we like it or not, we are constantly being compared to the “pretty-boys” in the media, and we always come up short.
He is SO “HOT”…
Has a woman ever said that in your hearing? How did it make you feel? What does “HOT” mean? Cute? Handsome? Sexually-desireable? How about “all of the above“? The word “HOT” is increasingly being thrown about by women of all ages, because they have been fed a false “standard” by which they are supposed to judge men. We “ordinary guys” don’t quite make the grade. Never mind that there are far more women admiring these men than there are that kind of man to go around.
My neighbor-lady, who is 46, had a series of three back surgeries this past March. After her initial consultation with the surgeon, she came home cooing about how “HOT” he was. He was tall, dark and handsome, and she “creamed her jeans” when she met him. It is sad that she was already imagining how “good in bed” he might be. She doesn’t reserve “HOT” just for good-looking guys, but will also describe a particularly good-looking woman as “HOT” also. She had a “HOT” nurse when she was in the hospital recently. While that particular nurse was quite good-looking, she is also happily-married, and the mother of a three-year-old child. The nurse was also in the same age-range as my own children.
I have no interest in another man’s wife. I also have no interest, romantic, sexual or otherwise, in my neighbor-lady, so who she thinks is “HOT” really doesn’t matter to me. I am a dozen year her senior, and probably 15-20 years older than her “HOT” doctor. Her attitudes do give me a keen insight into how worldly her values are. Not my “type“…
In the church…
Some denominations, and many churches have stripped Biblical male leadership away from men and given it to women. Women are now “Pastors“, “Elders” and “Deacons“. Unless God has rescinded 1 Timothy 3:1-13 behind my back, only men are qualified to hold these offices.
In the home…
Men used to be the head of the household, however, in many families, the man has been reduced to being merely the sperm-donor and the pay-check provider. Is it any wonder that there are so many dysfunctional families?
Nudists have a reputation for being “inclusive” and “non–judgemental“, but that doesn’t include single men. Men possess a curious appendage between their legs, which God designed, and which is necessary for the propagation of the human race – a penis. God designed men’s penises with the capability of becoming erect, and every person on this planet has an erect penis to thank for their existence. That is part of the design, and is a normal function, and yet most nudists are deathly-afraid that a man’s penis will “misbehave” at the “wrong” time by becoming erect. A first-timer’s biggest concern is that his penis will “misbehave” and that he will be told to leave. Older guys usually have less to be “concerned” about as they start losing our natural ability to achieve spontaneous erections, but why should any us need to be “concerned“? When did “natural and normal” become something to be afraid of?
“Inclusive” and “non–judgemental” – only if you are not a man.
What does a REAL man look like?
20 And there were certain Greeks among them that came up to worship at the feast:
21 The same came therefore to Philip, which was of Bethsaida of Galilee, and desired him, saying, Sir, we would see Jesus. (John 12:20-21)
Have you seen Jesus? Have you really encountered the risen Lord? I don’t think it was just idle-curiosity which caused those Greeks to want to see the Lord. Whatever they were looking for, the Son of Man was in many ways way more than they were looking for. Jesus Christ, the Son of Man, was the second Adam, the One who fulfilled and kept all that the first Adam failed to fulfill and keep. Jesus Christ WAS the perfect man, so if we want to know what a REAL man looks like, we need look no farther than Him. He was everything we can only dream of being.
The same strong hands which held a hammer in the carpenter’s shop, made a whip of cords to drive the crooks out of the temple. Those same hands tenderly touched the eyes a blind man and the ears of a deaf man. Those hands also accepted those nails which secured Him to the cross.
The same strong arms which deftly wielded that hammer also wielded that whip and overturned the tables of the crooks in the temple. Those same arms tenderly enfolded young children as He blessed them.
Those feet which carried Him many miles over the dusty roads of Israel also carried Him into the despised territory of the Samaritans, where He, the Messiah, announced that the kingdom of Heaven was at hand. Those feet were also nailed to that cross, and three days later, carried the risen Lord out of that tomb.
That voice which spoke forgiveness and restoration to the woman taken in adultery said “It is finished” in a hoarse whisper from the cross. That same voice thundered before the tomb of Lazarus as the “I am the resurrection and the life” met death head on with a shout; “Lazarus, come forth“. That same voice calmed Mary at the tomb when grief filled her heart and there seemed to be no hope. When He said “Mary“, her grief was replaced with joy as she came face-to-face with Her risen Lord.
Do you wonder why she thought He might have been the gardener? He had been crucified naked, wrapped in linen burial wrappings, and He had left those behind in the tomb. He was as naked as the day He was born. He WAS the second Adam, and He was naked and unashamed.
He was no “pretty-boy”…
Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?
2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.
8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.
9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. (Isaiah 53)
12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
Are you willing to have your plans interrupted or changed to help someone in need? Jesus was… His rest and His journey were interrupted by the woman at the well. (John 4:1-26) As He was going to heal Jairus’s daughter, His journey was interrupted by the woman with an issue of blood. (Mark 5:24-34) He then went on to raise the young girl. (Mark 5:35-43) His teaching was interrupted by the woman taken in adultry. (John 8:2-11) Jesus went into the town of Nain, and was met by a funeral procession. A widow’s only son had died, but not for long. (Luke 7:11-17) Isolated incidents? Not hardly. The Lord Jesus came to bring the kingdom of God to earth, and caring about and for people was part of His mission. This is just a sampling of the times He interrupted what He was doing to care for someone in need.
“Fairest Lord Jesus”
Fairest Lord Jesus,
Ruler of all nature,
O thou of God and man the Son,
Thee will I cherish,
Thee will I honor,
Thou, my soul’s glory, joy, and crown.
Fair are the meadows,
Fairer still the woodlands,
Robed in the blooming garb of spring:
Jesus is fairer,
Jesus is purer
Who makes the woeful heart to sing.
Fair is the sunshine,
Fairer still the moonlight,
And all the twinkling starry host:
Jesus shines brighter,
Jesus shines purer
Than all the angels heaven can boast.
Lord of all the nations!
Son of God and Son of Man!
Glory and honor,
Now and forevermore be thine.
“Let the Beauty of Jesus”
Rev. Tom Jones
Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me
All his wonderful passion and purity
O Thou Spirit divine, all my nature refine
Till the beauty of Jesus be seen in me.
What is this beauty of Jesus? Many tend to associate “beauty” with something aesthetically pretty, feminine, and in need of protection. But this kind of beauty has nothing to do with frilly fragility or prissy passivity. The beauty of Jesus is sturdy, forceful, fiercely protective, self-disciplined, faithful, creative, passionate, compassionate, refined, and pure. He is wonderful.
What does the “beauty of Jesus” look like in us?
What does it mean to display the beauty of Jesus in our lives? It’s simply being like Jesus and walking in his ways. It means glorifying him instead of ourselves and defending the weak instead of reveling in power. Ironically, it also means we are unique, because the Holy Spirit works different ways in different people. No cookie cutter Christians here! Other believers might be good examples to us, but our goal in life is not to be just like our pastor or Bible study leader or best-selling author or famous preacher on TV. When we are influencing others, our goal should not be to make them just like us. It’s to love them authentically and bring them to the real Jesus.
Some of us have seen ugliness in the name of Jesus. We’ve been burned by those who claim his name but don’t follow his path or grow his fruit. Maybe we’ve burned others, too. When he has been misrepresented, it takes fresh new eyes to see Jesus as he truly is: beautiful. I try to remember that my troubling experiences with other people on this journey actually serve to refine and purify me in ways I hadn’t expected. Yes, they have brought doubts and resentments up to the surface, like dross to be burned off of the gold. I’m definitely a work in progress. (So are my fellow believers.) But my struggles and disappointments have also given me a new compassion for those who are hurting, a new passion for grace and truth, and a new resolve to be more like Jesus instead of trying to stuff myself into a religious mold. I’ll let him shape me into a useful vessel instead.
(Exerpted from: Virginia Knowles http://www.WatchTheShepherd.blogspot.com)
Real men needed…
Our society and our world needs REAL men, not the emasculated fakes who pretend to be men. Real men are servant-leaders, capable of being strong yet tender, passionate yet compassionate, and who make their wife feel like she is a queen, married to the most wonderful king in the world.
Forget the stereotypes society has placed on men. SHAKE THEM OFF! They aren’t real, but they are having a profound affect on men in our society. You don’t need to do and be like that to be a real man.
Do you have time to help someone in need? If you don’t, you are too busy. Jesus was NEVER “too busy“. Have you seen Jesus? Real men not only see Jesus, but also follow Him as the Lord of their life, and strive to continue to do the work that He began.
Can you reclaim your virility along with your manhood? If you can, your wife will love her “new” husband. Imagine going on your second honeymoon at 60 and keeping the bed hotter than it was during your first honeymoon. That would be a treat both of you would never forget.